2. We are Liberating Palestine … Yes We Are!
Liberation is an art; an art we excel at. We liberated Jericho, we liberated Ramallah, we liberated Bethlehem, we liberated Jenin, we liberated Nablus, we liberated three-quarters of Hebron, we liberated a few bits here and there and we will liberate Jerusalem. Which “Jerusalem” we mean? Don’t ask, it’s complicated. We liberated some 7% of the West Bank without the need of an army or any “resistance” other than our definition of “resistance”. We liberated 7% of the West Bank through the negotiations everyone is criticizing.
We liberated 7% of the West Bank and are encouraging everyone to come and join us in liberating another 7%, then we will have 14% of the West Bank, not of historic Palestine. Historic Palestine is another story, it needs a lot of 7%s and we don’t have the time, we are too busy building a state on the liberated 7% – of the West Bank- the original 7% we liberated.We ask our American patrons to continue supporting our liberation process. We ask our European friends to continue financing our liberation process. We ask our Arab brothers to continue cheering and applauding our liberation process. We invite our Israeli partners in peace and negotiations to continue negotiating with us and asking us for more concessions. They can negotiate with us on the already liberated 7% if they want, we won’t mind because we heart negotiations.
Modern liberation is an art; a fine art, an art very few understand. It is the art of selling your rights to the highest bidder in the name of “ending the conflict”.
Forget liberation through armed resistance, forget liberation through popular resistance. Today, liberation is achievable through concessions and two-year road maps to statehood. And if liberation is your goal – and you have only 2 years time to achieve that goal – just follow our refined and re-adjusted definition of liberation and you will get your state.
We turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to Israeli actions against our people. We hide the minute Israeli soldiers enter a town, a village or a refugee camp. We stand still and watch every time Zionist militias kill a Palestinian child or demolish a Palestinian home or build a new Zionist colony.
Liberation requires resistance, requires action and the best form of action is no action. Our people want resistance, they want us to resist the occupation, but why won’t they understand that inaction is a form of non-violent resistance? Why won’t they understand that inaction is the perfect type of resistance, a form everyone will love, mainly our Israeli partners in peace and negotiations; just watch as your nation is being slaughtered and don’t act!
And with our silent resistance, our inaction, we are shaking the grounds of Israel. With our inaction we are liberating Palestine! And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people criticize us when we don’t act every time Israeli soldiers kill a Palestinian child or demolish a Palestinian home or build a new Zionist colony? Don’t they realize that any action on our side would make us unfit to be the “brave” who made the “peace”?
We need to show the Israelis we are real partners for peace, that we are the partners they have long waited for, that our goals are theirs, that their wish is our command. And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people criticize us when we don’t go complain and condemn Israel every time Israeli soldiers kill a Palestinian child or demolish a Palestinian home or build a new Zionist colony?
Don’t they realize that it makes us look like crying little babies every time we go and condemn? Don’t they realize if we start condemning Israeli human rights violation, we will need a 24-hour team to do that and won’t have time to liberate them and build our state? It’s enough to condemn once every six months, that’s the allowed maximum. This is called cooperation, this is called “taking and giving”; we help hide their crimes and they give us the approval to set up new firms, import the latest BMWs, give us permits to go to Tel-Aviv.
So, if you happen to pass a murdered Palestinian child just pretend he/she is sleeping, and if you pass a demolished Palestinian home pretend it is being renovated and if someone mentions Jerusalem, just remember that the place was exchanged for a title and a red carpet, and never mention it again and with time people might forget it ever existed. And for God’s sake, stop criticizing us, while we are busy liberating you, for going back to negotiations again and again and again. Negotiating is resistance, and you people keep calling for resistance, asking us to resist and we are resisting; we are resisting the occupier with our unshakable stand that negotiations are the only way no matter what Israel does, no matter what Israel says, no matter what the whole world says.Can’t you see we are embarrassing Israel by insisting on going to negotiations when they don’t even want to give us a tiny road in “Samaria”? We are resisting the occupier every time we kneel down to negotiations, make it our god and our holy book. Do you want them to stop our monthly salaries? Do you want our bank accounts to go in the minus? Do you want them to deny us travel permits? Do you want them to send us packing and back to our lousy 2-room apartments in some Arab capital
We discredit, attack and oust all, individuals or group, who seek to delegitimize us, for no one is legitimate but us; we are the chosen ones, even though we were not chosen, we are the elect ones; even though we were not elected.
We cut off the monthly salaries of those who refuse to obey our orders to go to the streets and march in our support. We cut off the monthly allocations of other factions who dare to criticize us and refuse to obey our orders.
And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people criticize us for refusing to talk to other Palestinian factions while rushing to hug Israelis? Do you people expect us to stand with our enemies, those who want to take away the power, the villas and the money from us? And we need those travel permits, we need to go to Tel Aviv, Geneva and Washington. We call for “unity” while spreading disunity, and we agree to “unity” before starting a new round of accusation so we can blame the others for breaking the “unity”.
We say out loud that we choose “unity” with our brothers and sisters but secretly assure our partners in peace and negotiations that the disunity shall prevail. And when our rivals finally see the light, fear losing what little power they have, fear losing the salaries and the transactions, we set the agendas and make it clear for them; we and our partners in peace and negotiations give the orders and you obey. We set up sites, call them “independent”, finance them from under the table so they spread our version of events, our “truth” and discredit, attack and incite against other political factions, groups and individuals, against all other voices that disobey us.
We hold media conferences with bought pens and conduct imaginary polls by false experts all assuring the people that the Palestinian street is on our side, that lies are being spread about us by collaborators who serve regional powers, by media outlets that are owned by Zionists. We send our people to get media training, in propaganda, from our Israeli friends, send them to Tel Aviv to take lessons in how to build the new Palestinian, re-programme him/her to accept the new facts on the ground, to use the rights words, the rights terms, to accept the new definition of resistance, our definition of resistance, the definition our partner in peace and negotiations, our American, European and Arab patrons and friends have formulated especially for us, because we are special. We install representatives all over the world, trained by our partners in peace and negotiations, and instruct them what to say when foreign media asks about the Zionist colonies, about the ethnic cleansing of Jerusalem, about the siege of Gaza… we blame it all on our political opponents, on our own brothers and sisters, and relieve our partners in peace and negotiations of any responsibility and any criticism. We call everyone a radical: radical left, radical right, radical east, radical west, radical middle, radical Islamists, radical communists, radical socialists, radical nothing, and we are the only ones who are moderate, the only ones who seek peace, Israeli-style peace.
We thank our Israeli partners in peace and negotiations for their generous offers, we offer them more concessions to show our gratitude for accepting to welcome us in Tel-Aviv, for rolling the red carpet for us and calling us “moderate”, for allowing us fake posts and titles.
Our goal is a state in two years, so if they want East Jerusalem, let them have it, for we have Ramallah with all its ministries, the hotels, the NGOs and not to forget the Noble Muqata’a, and one capital for our future state is more than enough.
Liberation is an art: the art of “talk about everything and nothing”.
We are masters in diversion. Whenever Israeli terrorist attacks happen, whenever Palestinians are massacred, whenever Jerusalemites are expelled from their homes, whenever Zionist colonies expand and whenever we raise the level of our collaboration with the occupier, we rush to talk about everything but the occupation, everything but the collaboration, everything but the concessions. Whenever Zionist colonists attack olive harvesters, uproot trees and destroy land, whenever Israeli occupation soldiers raid homes, kidnap children and beat up unarmed activists, whenever new colonies are built for aliens from Russia, Canada, Antarctica and Mars, we rush to condemn the “unity” that is failing, the other Palestinian party that is refusing to abide with the “unity” deal and we swear that “unity” with our brothers is more important than negotiations, that “unity” is stronger than any threats, and behind closed doors we unite with our partners in peace and negotiations and swear no other alliance. Whenever we help bury evidence condemning Israel, whenever we vote in support of protecting Israeli war criminals from international courts, whenever our complicity in Israeli war crimes and in covering up these crimes is exposed, we rush to talk about Jerusalem that is threatened, that is being Judaized, we rush to condemn settlements and settler violence, we drive by refugee camps and wave from our armoured Mercedes.
We are the masters of diversion, the masters of deception, we answer no questions, we give no solutions, we comply to no local inquiry or national committee. With us, A becomes B and B becomes Z.
Whenever there is popular rage over the concessions we are making, our repression of our people, the sell-out of the refugees and their rights, the state that is a fiction, our meeting with Zionist war criminals and leaders of Zionist militias, our running to negotiations, our security coordination with the occupiers, our protection of the Zionist terror gangs that roam Palestinian towns and villages and hunt Palestinian children and burn olive fields and homes, we tell people not to worry about Jerusalem being ethnically cleansed house by house, not to worry about the settlements growing and growing and reaching the moon, because we will be liberated in two years.
We talk about outside regional powers that work to undermine Palestinian independent decision, we talk about the unity we yearn, the one people we are, the reconciliation some avoid, we talk about the “resistance” we are re-defining, we talk about the prison-within-prison state we are seeking, we talk about liberation through negotiations, we talk about everything and nothing, we blame everyone else for everything we do, but we never blame or condemn our partners in peace and negotiations. And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people criticize us when we defend Israel, cover up its war crimes? Don’t they understand that we need to protect our friends, our partners in peace and negotiations, those who keep us in power? We need to join hands with the friends who will be generous enough to allow us a state in Ramallah, a casino in Jericho and an elite-only Bantustans a la Rawabi. We need mobile networks so you can contact us when you need protection from the groups of darkness come to incite against us or against our partners in peace and negotiations. We need Mercedeses so we can parade in front of your over-crowed refugee camps and show you what it’s like to play the game our way. We need cash flowing into our bank accounts, so we can reward those who believe in us and our chosen path.
Liberation is an art, the art of “it’s my way or no way”.
We decide the outline, we outline the do and don’t. We talk about liberation, mention the word freedom a million and one times, but condemn our people to a life in slavery. We mention the word state two million and one times, but condemn our people to a life in concentration camps. We swear our support to popular resistance, because everyone else loves it nowadays, everyone else calls for it nowadays. We organize popular conferences and become their patrons, we give speeches and declare that popular resistance is the answer, is the key to freedom and to the coming state. But when our people decide that popular resistance is the way to liberation, when our people decide that the time has come for another popular Intifada, we denounce the Intifada, denounce popular resistance, denounce resistance as a whole and declare that we won’t allow any Intifadas, whether armed or non-violent, declare that we won’t allow any demonstration, whether small or large, declare that we won’t allow any form of protest, whether a sit-in, a march or even a song that might upset our partners in peace and negotiations, that might make them feel “threatened” by us or might make them doubt our sincere intentions and doubt our suitability for the role of partner. And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people criticize us when we denounce resistance and declare we will never throw even a paper clip at Israeli occupation soldiers? Don’t they realize that it is our duty to show the world that we are cool, peaceful people and follow the modern adjusted definition of “resistance”, the one approved by our Israeli, American and European friends, approved by the rest of the free world, the adjusted definition of “resistance” that deprives us of our legitimate rights, of our national aspirations, of our freedom, of our dignity, the adjusted definition of “resistance” that states that occupiers can stamp on the hearts and souls of the oppressed to which the oppressed should reply: Thank you, do you have more? We do our best to stop demonstrations against the occupation, we detain anyone who marches towards an Israeli checkpoint, or even thinks or protesting in the vicinity of a Zionist colony.
We threaten employees with their salaries and force them to march in our support and in support of the concessions we are making, we organize marches in support of our partners and fellow dictators.
We employ our security apparatus, trained by the occupation, for the safety of the occupation and its terrorist militias.
And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do our people get angry when we crack down on their protests against the occupation, when we prevent them from reaching Jerusalem, when we kidnap them upon orders of the occupation, when we torture them for resisting the occupier?
Don’t they realize that the safety of the occupier means salaries at the end of the month?
Don’t they understand that the safety of the occupier means that we can build imaginary towns aka Bantustans, create industrial zones aka slavery centres and declare a fake state aka a prison within a prison?
Don’t they realize that Jerusalem is outside our future state limits, beyond our future borders, and that anyone who wishes to liberate Jerusalem is “free” to go there and demonstrate there, if they are allowed in? We encourage the boycott of products of Zionist colonies in the West Bank, but are vehemently against a boycott of all products of the Zionist entity, even if our economy is destroyed by the occupier, even if our shops and homes are drowning in the products of the occupier, even if our products rot at the occupier’s checkpoints, even if our fields, farms and factories are demolished and bombarded by the occupier, even if our natural resources are stolen by the occupier right under our very noses.
We declare Palestinian homes and shops “settlement-products-free” but fill our villas, our offices and our conference rooms with Israeli products. And if a Zionist colony moves the administrative offices of its factories to occupied Haifa or occupied Bisan, then we remove it from our boycott list. We are good partners in peace and negotiations and we don’t boycott the occupier, we only boycott the Zionist colonists who embarrass us by selling their products openly in our towns and villages. Those who do it secretly are another story. And while we are busy liberating Palestine, why do people criticize us when we hide the minute Israeli occupation soldiers enter a town, a village or a refugee camp? Why do they criticize us when we escort Zionist colonists into the heart of Palestinian communities? Why do they criticize us when we patrol the roads of Palestinian towns and villages in the company of Israeli military vehicles and intelligence jeeps or when we parade in front of refugees camps and work as human shields for Israeli occupier? Why do they criticize us when we join the occupier in the hunt of Palestinians and or when we hide while they extra-judicially execute Palestinians? Don’t they realize that it’s one of our duties, our main duties, to protect the Israeli occupier, our one and truly partner in peace and negotiations, and make way for them to do their job? They allow us to do our job and steal, build imaginary cities and states, and we should allow them to do their job and kill, demolish, detain, steal and expel. Why don’t our people realize that once and for all: the security of the Israeli occupier is our religion! It’s called peace of the brave and we are the brave, for accepting what no Palestinian would ever accept, for giving up what no Palestinian would ever give up.
Liberation is an art, the art of “what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine alone”.