The White House Anxiety Disorder

Hussein Samawarchi

I searched for hours on end for statements released by Syrian, Iranian, and Iraqi officials about the NAFTA agreement but failed to find anything. It seems as if these three countries do not think it is any of their concern or, perhaps, they just believe that Canada, Mexico, and the United States are sovereign nations who maintain the right to indulge in agreements without foreign intervention.

I decided to widen my search and looked for positions taken by the same three Middle Eastern countries regarding defense and military agreements between the United States and European or Far East nations and found nothing of significance.

There are a lot of political stances in Iran, though, about certain issues like further improving national education institutes and medical care. Also, political statements in Syria regarding the necessity to keep the fight against terrorism while diverting much of the national budget towards the rebuilding of the country’s infrastructure. The majority of Iraqi political statements tackle such domestic matters as the strengthening of national unity and improving the public services sector.

Iraq, Iran, and Syria do mention the United States but only in the scope of its meddling in their affairs. They don’t seem to care about it at all when it comes to its choices in bilateral agreements with other countries and the way its government runs things.

Iranian politicians speak frequently about how the United States is actively trying to impoverish the Islamic Republic’s economy. Syrian politicians talk about how the US military has invaded a part of their land and how those Chinook helicopters have become the preferred airline for members of Daesh [the Arabic acronym for terrorist ‘ISIS/ISIL’ group]. Iraqi politicians still wonder why Trump sent an envoy to tell them [not ask them nicely] how to run the country in light of the recent elections; they are perplexed as to whether he was serious in thinking that they would abide by his unrealistic expectations.

It is high time to do some explaining about the meaning of patriotism for those occupying the White House.

It is not enough to say that you love your country. Neither is it enough to fly its flag over your front porch. Loving your country is protecting its borders from occupiers and defending its name from shame. To truly love your country is to uphold democracy, freedom, equality, and honor. Those factors will create a better environment for education, culture, and economy. They will also raise the name of your nation up high between other nations, rendering citizens proud of their nationality.

Patriotism is all that and more. You are not a patriot if you knowingly incorporate the name of your nation with theft, murder, and destruction. Blasting an Iraqi bomb shelter on top of the heads of nearly 500 civilians brings indescribable shame to your flag; so does supplying arms to Daesh members for the purpose of shooting Syrian women. There’s also the matter of dispatching wave after wave of the so-called precision bombs to the Saudis – the fact that scores of little Yemeni children never made it back home from school has not put the US in the list of the top ten humanitarian countries. Not even in the top 190.

One wonders if, by some miracle, Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin Franklin would come back to see what the constitutional government they helped create has evolved into. I see them organizing a revolution backed up by the many decent Americans who can’t make ends meet because their money is being sent to a foreign Zionist army committing daily atrocities against Palestinians. They would surely succeed and claim the White House but would also probably not manage to clean it up because many more Monica Lewinskys are always on standby to bring down anyone who defies the Zionist agenda.

The American administration says it is working seamlessly to prevent closer ties between Iraq, Syria, and Iran. It appears that smooth borders between the three neighboring countries in accordance with enhanced diplomatic agreements create a source of anxiety for the Americans.

With the elevated level of awareness that the leaders and people of the three countries have, it is impossible to break them apart. This option is out of the question. The only solution left is to tend to the anxiety problem, which brings us to the results of my third and final search.

It turns out that all three countries have an incredible number of professional practitioners in the area of mental health. Since it is very difficult for our psychiatrists to travel to the US because Trump has placed so many regulations against granting visas for citizens of Islamic countries, an aircraft can be sent to Washington for free. He is welcome to bring along Pompeo, Bolton, Pence, and the rest of the gang suffering from acute anxiety disorder and they wouldn’t have to pay a single cent because medical treatment in these countries is free for those who can’t afford it and for guests.

Lessons in true patriotism are also free of charge.

Source: Al-Ahed News

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