by Ruslan Ostashko 

Translated and captioned by Leo.

Don’t forget to press CC for English captions.


An unpleasant surprise was presented to the chocolate führer by Ukrainian voters. Of course, Petro Poroshenko understood that in the first round of elections, the most votes will be gathered by Vladimir Zelensky. But he did not expect that the gap between the candidate-comedian will be so big.

The presidential elections appeared before the still functioning European hetman as a set of highly non-trivial tasks.

The first one was that it was necessary not only to draw a victory over Yulia Tymoshenko with the help of the thoughtful gigantic electoral list, and to also not be too far behind Zelensky. Because without the second of these conditions, drawing a victory for a showman candidate in the final round will not work.

Poroshenko managed to wrest out a small difference with the help of various frauds, which allows him to go to the second round. Although Tymoshenko’s team, of course, ruffles around.

“The headquarters of presidential candidate Yulia Tymoshenko stated that their leader should be in the second round of elections. In particular, staff representatives counted 63.51% of the votes and concluded that Zelensky was gaining 28.1%, Tymoshenko – 16.1%, and Poroshenko – 15.2%. Together, they think that Poroshenko will falsify the vote count.”

In reality, it’s unlikely that Tymoshenko’s results will be affected. So she’ll have to accept defeat. However, this does not mean that she dropped out of the game. The obvious move will be to make a deal with Zelensky, calling on his supporters to vote for the showman in the second round. And after the victory, get such a gift, for example, the post of prime minister.

Poroshenko cannot do anything to oppose this move. Zelensky and co leads with a twofold superiority, and having received the votes of those who were in favor of Tymoshenko, he will easily beat the chocolate führer. The gap of this magnitude can not be compensated by any “dead souls” and postscripts. Poroshenko understands this, so I would not be surprised if he goes to the weekly hard drinking starting today.

Anatoly Shariy (Ukrainian anti-government journalist) suggested that the chocolate führer would try to reduce voter turnout in the second round, since a high turnout was playing against Poroshenko, narrowing the space for postscripts.

I assume that the cornered hetman of national-conscious may think about how to cancel the second round of elections altogether. To do this, he needs to either reintroduce martial law, or arrange some kind of provocation that would make it possible to exclude Zelensky from the race.

If we go with the first option, the odds are near zero, because it is impossible to push the decision on martial law through the Verkhovna Rada, then the second option is more realistic. For example, the SBU will initiate a criminal case against Zelensky by fabricating “evidence” about the showman’s contacts with the Kremlin. The scheme was tested in the United States. But if the Democrats, for whom they stoked the Euro-Ukros, could not push Donald Trump, then Poroshenko could succeed quite well.

Of course, in the West they will be unhappy with this turn of the plot. But for the true owners of Ukraine, the personalities of the local clerks are irrelevant. For them, the main thing is for the new hetman not to go to reconciliation with Russia. Did you see what journalist Frederick Pleitgen said on CNN about the candidates in the Ukrainian elections?

“They all declare that they want closer ties with the West and the European Union. I would say that Zelensky is probably the least anti-Russian in some way, a person who seems to be in the lead now. At some events he even spoke both Russian and Ukrainian. But the language in Ukraine is, of course, also a serious topic. Petro Poroshenko is a person who declares that he will act very hard against Russia. He has very close ties with the army. Obviously, he has been very active in supporting the army. As president, he has been telling voters for the last couple of years: ‘You know, you have to understand that whoever you elect as president, this person will represent Ukraine in international organizations, and also, of course, in confrontation with Russia.’”

This is a frank ad for the chocolate führer. Nothing different in essence from the ones that numerous “gunpowders” publish in social networks. Here is one of them, which, by the way, even lives in Moscow.

Twitter of Ivan Simochkin @IvanSim.

Post from 29 March 2019, 19:41:

“We will rearrange the points in this many month long hysteria. It’s an extremely vital priority for Ukraine right now – to not die in the war against the Russian aggressors, but to crush the enemy. The present commander-in-chief showed us after 5 years of war that he handled the tasks. The gunpowder should stay in its post.”

Post from 31 March 2019, 02:54 in response to @niukin:

“Defeatism, panic, spreading of demogogy and propaganda of the enemy – this is a crime in war time. Ban. [Ed – We need to introduce Internet censorship.]”

That is, the chocolate führer, who is fed up with the West, is still being promoted as the most anti-Russian candidate. And for this reason, the removal of Zelensky from the elections under any pretext may well be a ride.

And they will not have to look for a pretext for a long time. Here is a thick info-reason for example:

“The Kremlin’s completely mindless Dozhd (liberal news station) has already chosen a president for Ukraine. This is a direct intervention in the election. I urge the Central Election Committee, the SBU, the State Border Service and the National Council to take adequate measures. To deprive accreditation and expel Russian propagandists from Ukraine.”

Everyone understands that Dozhd is not owned by the Kremlin at all. But to pretend that Moscow has already appointed Zelensky to be the hetman of “Ukraine is Europe” – it will not be difficult. Then you can throw him out of the race before the second round, by designating the third round, where Poroshenko will fight Tymoshenko and draw a victory for himself.

I would not dismiss the described scenario of events entirely. After all, it is Ukraine…